


Fieber (Fever)

by evil_Jy (eviljy)



Category: Fastlane
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-10-14
Updated: 2005-10-14
Packaged: 2017-10-12 21:39:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/129365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eviljy/pseuds/evil_Jy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things changed. Now I can smell his fear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fieber (Fever)

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: written in under two hours. w00t! and dedicated to amcw177 as a thank you for all the wonderful music. Title and lyrics from Oomph! feat. Nina Hagen "Fieber"

_* drück mir die Klinge an den Hals *  
(press the blade at my throat)_

Cold steel against hot flesh, making me shiver. The sharp edge cutting delicate skin, blood running freely down my neck. I try not to move, not to breathe, not to think. Wishing for this nightmare to end.

The blade is pressing harder again, re-catching my attention.

Why? I trusted him. Why is he doing this to me? Why?

His voice is made of ice. Once so full of emotions. Now it only speaks of madness and death. My death. His death. Theirs.

_* bis ich - bis ich - bis ich dich überleben kann *  
(until I - until I - until I can survive you)_

I knew it had to end one day. Nothing lasts forever. Not the good things. Never. But I had hoped we would go out in a blaze of glory. As partners, side by side. We've come a long way to get there. To except each others. To trust. As friends. As lovers. As partners.

This is like a fever dream. It can't be real. He's not killing me. He can't. He loves me, as I love him. The one certainty in my life.

_* steck mir den Finger in den Hals *  
(stick your finger in my throat)_

I feel sick to the bone. It's the sorrow. About the loss. The betrayal.

I want to see his eyes, have him look at me before I die. I don't want him to stand behind me - his chest against my back - when he slits my throat, spills the last of my blood. I don't want this to be easy for him.

Is he dead already? Is that why? Taking me to where is mind has gone. When did I lose him? I want to know!

_* bis ich - bis ich - bis ich mich übergeben kann *  
(until I - until I - until I can throw up)_

I can't open my mouth. If I do I will throw up. It's too much. But there are questions to be asked. Answers to be demanded.

Where did I go wrong? What could I have done to save him? To save us. There must be something. He has to know!

My thoughts are spinning. Reality is slipping. Am I joining him in his madness?

He's taking me with him. Over the edge.

I'm falling. Only darkness ahead of me.

+++

_* Spürst du die Macht in deinen Händen? *  
(do you feel the power in your hands?)_

He's trembling. Ever so lightly. He's not afraid of the knife. But of the hand holding it. Of me cutting him.

Never before did I scare him.

Things changed. Now I can smell his fear. With my nose pressed against the side of his neck. Only inches from the knife.

I breathe deeply.

Beautiful. Overwhelming.

_* Hast du dein Herz ganz fest im Griff? *  
(do you have your heart in a strong grip?)_

I can see the beat of his pulse under the skin. The symbol of his life. So strong still.

Does my heart still beat? I can't feel it. Too tight is the grip of the desire around it.

I have to do this. I will do this. He will understand. We will be together. Like we should be. Not like they tell us. It doesn't have to end. It has yet to begin.

In death there is life. We will be victorious.

_* Und spürst du die Nacht in deiner Seele? *  
(and do you feel the night in your soul?)_

Become what you fear.

I don't remember who told me that. But it's true. It's the only way. Beating them with their one weapons. Always one step ahead.

So much truth.

It's worth it. My soul for his. I give it gladly.

It's so cold. Chilled to the bone. I'm waiting for the fire.

_* Hast du die Welt in deinem Kopf? *  
(do you have the world in your head?)_

What does he think? I wish I could read his mind. His head must be such an interesting place to be. Unlike mine.

He always managed to surprise me. With his ideas. His insights. His compassion.

Do I surprise him now?

He's so quite. He's never been talkative like me. But never so quite before, either.

He understands. That's it.

His breathing becomes slower, more even.

Yes, he understands. He's with me now.

It's time. We will be together at last.

+++

_* Spürst du die Seele, das Fieber, die Macht? *  
* Spürst du die Sehnsucht, das Fieber, die Nacht? *  
* Spürst du die Seele, das Fieber, die Macht? *   
* Spürst du die Sehnsucht, das Fieber - heut Nacht?*   
(do you feel the soul, the fever, the power?)  
(do you feel the longing, the fever, the night?)  
(do you feel the soul, the fever, the power?)  
(do you feel the longing, the fever - tonight?)_

More blood. Flowing in red rivers. Mixing with sweat and tears. Forming a sea of life.

Two bodies dying. Death gripping them both. Lying together on the floor. One holding on to the other.

Together in life – together in death.

The madness is gone. The fever burned out. No strength left.

Darkness is approaching.

Two separate souls before. Only one now.

Nothing stronger then death. Nothing lasting longer.

Eternity. Peace in disguise.

One last breath.

The night has arrived.

End


End file.
